mantis irreligiosa

Following his dreams

October 31st, 2014 by mantis

My brother-in-law has been dead for over a year now. He was 52 when he died of lung cancer. He had smoked for years and years as young adult, so that might have been the cause.

He and my sister were married for over 20 years, after they met at his workplace; she often took the tram he operated to reach her workplace, and he helped her (she is blind). They got a flat together, had two kids, then managed to fulfill their dream of buying a house to have more space. Later on they moved back to where he grew up, and built their own house nearby, completely made of wood. They were not even finished with the interior when he was diagnosed.

I remember him as a family man; he quit his job and stayed at home to help my sister, and he started selling the things he made as a self-trained wood worker. As soon they started living in a house, he always had his own work room filled with wood, machines, half-done figurines, and wood chips on the floor and the smell of cut wood everywhere. He was a do-it-yourselfer and fixed many things around their house, and he made beautifully carved furniture.

He had a short temper when he was younger, but he learned to control it, and I remember the many amiably discussions we had when I visited them – for example he had a thing for reading von Daeniken, about ancient astronaut theories and the like, and we would argue animatedly our respective points of view. He loved to motocycle and would often take me for a ride during summer. And he loved to cook and to have lots of people sitting around his kitchen table.

His family loved him very much, and he will be remembered.

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February 21st, 2014 by mantis

Today my sister would have turned 55.

I lit a candle in remembrance of her and thought about what I know of her life: She was the oldest child in a family that was not always the happiest of families (although most of that happened before I was born and came to them as a foster child, so I have to go with what little my other siblings told me, and I stopped asking some time ago).

We were several years apart in age, and she moved out when I was still a child.

She was bad with money, but she loved to be generous and give people gifts. She also loved to dream about being wealthy, and we would watch cheesy soap operas together when she still lived at home. She was good with make-up and other beauty stuff, which makes me think of her whenever I glam up or have my nails done.

She collected teddy bears and anything with guardian angels on it, but she managed not to go overboard with hoarding the stuff (as other family members do).

She also was very sick for a very long time, but she never gave up, even when the boyfriend she lived with dumped her (again, I do not know the details, so no judgement from my side). She managed to move into a pretty little flat with a small patio. She loved children, and for some time she worked with a toddler group, a pursuit she liked to talk about when she phoned.

I don’t know how to write down the other things I feel, and I am not sure that if I could, I should.

So I’ll end this post with stating the fact that she will be remembered.

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