Finally! Someone summarises all the anger I felt during and after wasting 2 hours of my life in the movies.Yes: Prometheus.

Thank you for this review, Film Brain. Thank you.

This movie has so, so much bad; this review needs not one, but two parts to list all the annoyances, plotholes and utter irrationalities of this ohNOIAMGETTINGANGRYAGAINMUSTSMASHCROISSANTSHAPEDSPACESHIP.


And don’t get me wrong, I am quite fine with fiction and suspension of disbelief. I loved Fassbender’s acting. I don’t mind the movie’s in-your-face religulous symbolism; the belief in ancient astronauts is a funny idea and offers interesting possibilities to explore in a movie. I also don’t mind that it’s not an exact prequel of the Alien movies.

What I cannot abide however are bad storytelling, horrible scripting, non-existent character development and utterly stupid dialogues. Putting together a ludicrously expensive mission to outer space based on mysterious star maps and – the BELIEF of Shaw? Getting to an unknown planet, instantly landing and hopping over into an alien building of extraordinary size, taking of your helmet because the air is breathable in there, etc.etc. – come ON script! You establish that these are top-notch scientists, then let them act as such. But NO, instead the scientists play with strange Giger-ish snakes – they really deserved to be eaten by that thing. And NO ONE on the ship thinks it necessary to stay on the bridge and lend assistance to the two crew members who are trapped in the alien building overnight – did no one bother to come up with emergency protocols? The list goes on and on…
Why do the scientists hate each other so much? Why is Vickers even on this ship? Why does what’s-his-face tell nobody that he contracted a bad case of worm-eye? How do medical staples and overdosing pain meds magically heal the effects of a caesarian section? What’s up with the robot?

I saw in another review that the script had two versions from two writers. I did not read it, but the original is said to make more sense. I also read that the script rewrite took one year to finish. Wow. And the outcome is – this. *ANGRY*

And what angers me so much is that it’s all such an utter waste… a well-established franchise, brilliant, brilliant visuals, some interesting ideas to build a story on – and they go and deliver such a, let’s face it: waste of resources.
This movie doesn’t bother to explain so many questions because its makers count on raking in more money with sequels, but honestly I can’t be bothered. For a daily fix of pretty pictures of space, go to NASA ;)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.