Q: Dear doctor,
I followed your advice and am now at an age of 5 years, so I soon won't be able to write you anymore.
Can you tell me (but quick before I stop being able to read) how I can keep my abilities?
Thank you!

A: I fear you already lost some very important abilities. But to stop furhter loss stop slashing pensioners as the first thing to do.
To become older again you have to look for some fat women, choose one of them. Do everything for her (most times you will have to get some food!). After 3 weeks marry her, cook for her. Have sex (as soon as it is possible again) with her every day, twice. Try to make her as many children as possible. If you have less than 5 after two years adopt some additional! Invite your mother in law to live with your family in your small house.
This should be enough to become old again. If not, contact me again.